Hi Nichole! It's God... did you get the memo?

So as I said before My family and I have had trial after trial. I can not figure out exactly why. I can tell you we have never been great with our money. We have never really had a lot of money but the cash we have had has not always been spent wisely. None the less we have never recieved any help from our family with cars, bills, etc. It has always been me and the conservative nut I am married to. That is how I will refer to him my Conservative nut. The Conservative nut was in the military for four years and busted his butt to recieve a degree in avionics. We were offered a job from an avionics company in the ST.Louis area. So we traveled from Las Vegas to the ST.Louis area to pursue a career in avionics. But as young people often do we never prayed to God and asked him what he wanted for us. All those evenings of studying for that degree so we could finally make some cash and God was like... UMMM guys? Guys.... haha I hate to say this but ummm well pack up and uh your going to work in a ministry in Mississippi. LOL. SO here we are. It has been tough. The people here somtimes make me feel like I would rather poke my eyes out with a rusted spoon rather then engage in a conversation with them. So The Conservative nut works his butt off for peanuts. But it is for God. Never mind the hypocrites he is surrounded with. HE IS SERVING GOD. WE ARE SERVING GOD. I know my writing sounds so ungrateful and a bit crass. I can't be fake. I don't feel good about all the things I am going through or even about being here. But honestly I am trying to bloom where I am planted. I am honored that God would use my family for his work. I am thankful for what I do have. I am just thrown off my game yo. I want to appreciate all the traveling and things we have seen. God has never kept us in one place for long. I am hoping in writing these things down and getting these feeling out on this page I can somehow let go and move on. We are a family of five living in a tiny two bedroom apartment, with no couch, on the verge of losing our only car, while my father in law is dying of cancer. My husband faces jealousy and bad intentions every day at work. I face women who have to make God's gift something tangible to make themselves feel better. I have been critisized for everything from having television in my home, to trick or treating, all the way to Santa Clause. I am tired. I am frustrated. But I also recognize none of these things we face is because of God wanting to hurt us. That which is from God is to make us stronger and to grow, and that which is natural consequece of my sin I must learn from. So here is too trying to live in God's perfect will!