I do not get it .....right now

So the Conservative Nut went to coffee last night. And it was brought to his attention again that he is mistreated (as if he does not know that) To be honest we know. We are not going to sit and talk about it with anyone but each other. I don't understand why they treat us terribly. Nor am I about to ask them. This is where God has taken us. I think one of the things he wants us to learn is to have faith and trust him. I came here with hopes of learning from them and having a relationship. But it is all to obvious now that they really do not like us for whatever reason. And that is ok. I am trying to be understanding and pray for them hoping that I will not be angry and hurt any longer.I hope and pray that my God will deliver us from this place. When he is ready and more so when we have learned what he has wanted to teach us. I write today with a sad heart but hopeful eyes that will continue to look up in hope for the amazing future he is preparing us for. God bless you all today.

My brain is very un organized

My brain is all over the place. I am headed back to the gym TOMORROW. I need routine and to control the things I can with God's help. No more worrying about this or that. All I know is that God told me tonight through his word. To trust and rely on him. So I will.

Cleaning house

Have not cleaned house in over a week I am doing it now! I feel good about this! I am worried about life here in Mississippi but I keep having to remind myself that I need to let go and do what is right and God will handle the rest! And so I will challenge myself this week. No matter who calls or what happens this week I will handle it and let it go with God's help. I love that I have a helper. My very own! I get so caught up somtimes I forget and now I am going to stop whatever I am doing and when I start to feel a mess I am going to pray and ask him for his guidance. I know that I am never going to make it if I keep falling apart and allowing people and stress to stop me and get off track. I am so thankful God has blessed me with a new friend whom gives me godly advice I can always count on her as well! I think God is teaching me that in order to grow I have to keep going through the tough times.I am thanful for this because it means he loves me and wants me to walk a little closer and a little more intimate with him! God Bless <3

I am disgusted.

So I have NOT felt good about a certain family relationship for several months. When I recieved an email from family inviting me over to there home. I never call or visit with them because truly I am busy, they are busy, and I felt not welcome to a certain extent. I guess more then not feeling welcomed so much has been said to me and my husband concerning the family member he works for . We thought they did not like us and regretted our coming to Mississippi. The Conservative Nut loves his job. He loves working for God. But it feels like everyone has an agenda. There is a man The Conservative Nut works for that told my family member we did not like the spouse because they were legalistic. First never told this man that information. Second I became angry because not only did a man of God lie, but when did it became okay for a pastor to reveal information to others in order to create gossip??!?!?!?! Wow blown away by this. I want The Conservative Nut to follow his dream and do what God asks of us. But is it possible for people with their own free will to mess things up? ANGRY ANGRY ANGRY I tell you I am ANGRY!!!

Complete Chaos

My blogs have no structure and they are all about me. MWHAHAHHAHA! Chaos. Ya think? So today I would like to talk about someone who has more chaos in his life then the president (maybe) Tiger Woods! Come on down! Six mistresses? Really? REALLY? I have three kids and barely have enough time for them! How in the world? That is some balancing act that is for sure. Did you hear the wifey is negotiating a new nup? Oh man you can take that one to the bank! In breaking news I had dreams all night long about the repo man !!!! I also can not seem to figure out why my three year old runs around naked constantly! I am having peanut butter and jelly for lunch....again. DO NOT HATE! YOU KNOW YOU WANT A PB&J ! Oh and I want to talk about why Tom Cruise and his wife never dress there daughter in a winter jacket? And why the poor three year old is in summer dresses in December walking around NY? Is it some weird Scientology exercise? That poor kid!

Rainy day and hungry babies

I awoke this morning to hungry kiddies and pitter patter of rain coming from outside this morning. At first I just wanted to lay there. I realized that this funk I had been in for a week now needed to move on just like this rain. I can not lay down and let these trials consume me. I needed to get up and get moving. After all God is walking right beside me. He has a perfect will for my life and I can not be effective lying down. So today I choose to get out of bed and face life one thing at a time. I promise not to be over critical of myself or allow others to make me feel less then what I am today. Juse like my hungry little ones this morning I am hungry for him and only him today.

Before you can see the bigger picture you have to get through today

I am a self proclaimed control freak. I am ocd about my home, however I do not care about closets,cabinets,drawers,etc. I can not function if things are not my way. Which makes it really difficult when God loves to make you squirm! We are no longer in jeporady of losing our car. For now anyway! AMEN! There is a bigger picture. And even though today it would be easy to give up. If you give up you could lose out in the future. Future. I have dreams, desires, wants. Like every women does I suppose. I would love to have some money that I could go and help others with. I would love to get my nursing degree and care for the ill in third world countries. I would love for the Conservative nut to live out his dreams as well. For now I home school three beautiful children. I struggle with myself and who I am, but I am becoming comfortable with myself finally! I manage to keep a clean home, cook decent meals, and not completely lose it on my kids! Yay for me. I am thankful. I am thankful for special friends sent from God, hard working husband, three beautiful kids, and a place to lay my head at night! Thank you Lord.